Not The Same
by Skulduggery Skellington
Summary: Yamamoto was taken into captivity for a month with Gokudera striving to retrieve him but when they do reunite, something doesn't seem right...
1. Chapter 1

Random idea that came to me once upon a time taking a shower haha! Enjoy!  
>Rated: Mature<p>

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_"Yamamoto!" _

The Guardian of the Rain felt his feet dragging across the floor and the heavy breathing of a man against his neck. His sight was dark and his breathing was low.

_"Yamamoto!" _

He didn't make a sound as he felt his body collide with a hard metal chair, his back forced to be straight and his feet perfectly spread apart.

_"Yamamoto!" _

Something burned at his wrists and tightened in it's force to keep him still. There was that tone ringing in his ears and suddenly the cloth was torn away from his eyes.

_"YAMAMOTO!" _

He squinted up into the light as the man totally clad in black before him. The man had what looked like a metal rod in his hand and kept tapping it against his palm but he knew better to panic. It was better to be calm and relaxed. Collective as he was taught… but… Not The Same: Chapter 1

"Gokudera-kun! Please… you need to pull yourself together…" pleaded the Sky Guardian.

"I am pulled together as I can possibly be Tenth," the Storm Guardian replied as he angrily threw those sticks of dynamite to ease his tension. It was a fact of life that he would resort to violence in a time like this.

"I know but it seems you are losing sight…" Tsuna messed with the edges of his sweater. This whole mess was his fault anyway.

"Tenth…"

Tsuna turned his head in Gokudera's direction watched the silver hair fall to his knees and begin to shake. "Gokudera-kun!"

"I- I…" Gokudera gripped at the floor with no prevail. "I… can't be like this… I can't function knowing where he is… and I can't help him." He felt the hot tears flow down his face, threatening to break him just as he did on the walk back to base where Ryohei and Tsuna had to calm him down. It didn't work very well. It just seemed impossible for him to live while he knew his boyfriend was somewhere else… Somewhere without his help, his protection, his love…

"We'll find him soon as possible," said Tsuna in a serious manner. "They couldn't have gotten far and with your resolve, it will be a fast recovery." That was of course what he hoped.

"I know… I believe you… Boss…"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- One Month Later -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Gokudera couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that it took them a month. The current enemies to the Vongola family certainly had been greatly underestimated. Their base took a lot longer to recover and the silver haired drove himself forward with only pure anger.

Reborn had gotten a lead in France but he had suspect that it may be the main area of operations. Gokudera was all up for the challenge of course but in the end it all depended on the Vongola boss. Tsuna ordered an infiltration to hurry and retrieve back their dear Guardian of the Rain hoping to the heavens that Yamamoto was not dead.

A few hours after the order had been given, they arrived on French soil and hurried over to the suspected base of their enemies. With the team armed properly, they began their push through the base soon coming across a cross road of halls.

Tsuna smart enough to go let Gokudera do as he pleased, advised the Storm Guardian to go on ahead with Ryohei to go and search for where Yamamoto was kept as the rest of them moved to challenge the main boss of the family. The playing board had been set and Tsuna was sure to win.

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Gokudera hurried down the stone halls, sinking deeper and deeper inside the massive base. He was sure that at some point he would feel the essence of his lover soon. They were linked after all or so that baseball idiot always told him. Even now he was already imagining that boys smiling face beaming up at him. He would say:

_"Gokudera! What took you so long? I was bored sitting in here all by myself."_

Yeah that's it. He couldn't wait. As he turned down a corner, he saw a group of men standing in a clutter waiting for their opponents. Guarding Yamamoto would be a good reason for them to be standing in that particular spot. He wasted no time as he ran forward, his dying will flame growing stronger then ever.

The battle didn't last too long and once Ryreoi looked up, Gokudera was already running once again. "Ah! Octopus head! You should wait to the extreme!"

Gokudera ignored the yelling turf top. It wasn't really important to pay him any attention anyway but as he turned that last corner, he saw it. The lone door at the end of the hallway without a single design on it. For all he knew it could have been a closet but some how…

Gokudera pulled at the door with little success and out of frustration, ended up blowing the handle off. He opened the door and as the light streamed into the black room, there he saw his lover, laying on the concrete floor with eyes half open.

"Yamamoto!" He gripped Takeshi's shoulders to turn the face to look at him. Dry blood caked his body and feeling the rising of Yamamoto's chest gave him great relief but his smile disappeared when he looked into those eyes. They weren't right. They didn't look at him, they didn't look at anything. It seemed like something was missing… Something was gone… "Yamamoto! Look at me! Look at me!" Tears streamed down his face. "LOOK AT ME!"

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_"Gokudera!"_

_The Italian looked over his shoulder and smiled. "What is it idiot?"_

_"You know how much I just love saying your name. I don't think I'll ever get tired of it," Yamamoto grinned as he came to his lovers side._

_"I think I might just get tired of your voice one day," Gokudera scoffed._

_"Aw, don't be like that."_

_"It's just a fact of like. Better get used to it."_

_"But you don't want me to change." Yamamoto leaned closer to Gokudera's ear. "You love me just the way I am."_

_"Maybe I should change that policy." But he couldn't deny it. He wouldn't want the idiot anyway else. "Are you coming over?"_

_"Of course why wouldn't I be?"_

_"I thought you had a game this afternoon."_

_Yamamoto waved a hand in the air. "Yeah well they can last without me for one game. It's not going to be the end of the world after all. Besides, I didn't forget the fact that today's our two week anniversary."_

_Gokudera blushed insanely as he looked at the other. "You're keeping that much track? That's such a waste of time!"_

_"It's not a waste of time. I love you and I'm happy to count our days," he grinned._

_Gokudera failed to keep a scowl and instead punched the Rain Guardian in the arm. "Yeah whatever." _

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Tsuna was about charging up his X Burner when he heard the click in his ear. "We've found him," Kyoko-chan's brother said in his ear.

"Great is he doing okay?" he asked casually still focused on the enemy in front of him.

"I would be lying to the extreme if I said he was."

Tsuna didn't say a word but when the X Burner was finished, he order the full infiltration in a large scale retreat. They won but they didn't feel so good.

**First Yaoi for KHR. I hope you liked it ^^ More to come**


	2. Chapter 2

Because you beautiful people asked for more ^^  
>Rated: Mature<p>

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Not The Same: Chapter 2

_"Yamamoto… what do you think about when you're alone?"_

The teen cocked his head slightly. "Well I guess it depends."

The Storm Guardian's eyes didn't leave the starry sky above their heads. "What if I left you alone right now?"

Yamamoto laughed. "Then I would wonder why you left me alone like so. I would think of ways on how to apologize for what I did for making you leave."

The silver haired didn't falter. "What would you think about if I broke up with you? Would you be alone then?"

A frown now etched on the others face. "Now why would you say something like that?" He sat up on a single elbow to look at his lovers face luminated only by the moonlight. "Are you thinking about breaking up with me?"

"Just answer the damn question."

There was a short pause.

"I would be alone. Utterly alone. I would think about how I upset you and I would ponder where I went wrong. I would regret things I did and things I said. I would wish that somehow you were by my side as we used to be. I would wish that I should have been a better boyfriend… a better lover… a better listener…" Yamamoto gave a serious expression. "You are upset."

"Wow genius, how could you tell?" Gokudera replied in heavy sarcasm. Yamamoto's head was suddenly blocking the sky from his view. "What are you doing? Get out of my way!"

"If it's about the other day I'm sorry. I should have skipped that day too. I know how much you hate baseball and I'm sorry. I'll quit the team for you tomorrow, I swear. Please don't tell me you're leaving me," he pleaded.

Gokudera shook his head. "I was just wondering what it would be like if you broke up with me was all. I wanted to see if I could duplicate the thoughts if you told me what you would have been thinking."

Takeshi sighed and laid his head upon Gokudera's chest. "Don't worry. I'm not going to make you feel that way. Ever… I love you…"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It seemed like Gokudera couldn't see straight. That might have been due to the tears that whelmed up in his eyes. They just seemed like they wouldn't stop coming.

"Oi! He'll be okay! We'll make him better to the extreme!" said Ryohei at his side.

The Storm Guardian would have told him to shut up but he really didn't have the energy. He just wanted to get Yamamoto in medical care and back to Japan.

When Tsuna and the rest of the family met up, he ordered his loved ones to make their way out and back to the safety of Dino-san's family transportation. It was time's like these where Tsuna was really grateful for the odd older male.

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The plane was quiet as it made it's way back to Japan. The only sounds that were apparent was the shallow breathing of Yamamoto and the occasional gust of wind against the window. It worried Gokudera that his lover had shown very little signs of himself. His outer appearance was the only thing that he could confirm that it was truly his boyfriend.

Why..? Why did it have to happen to Takeshi? Why didn't that idiot stay in his spot? Why… why… why… did he love him so much? Gokudera didn't deserve such a precious thing.

He stared down at Takeshi's face with even more longing for the boy to say something bright and happy. To reach his hand out to tell Gokudera that everything was going to be okay. That everything will go back to normal soon. This though did not happen and the Storm Guardian fought the urge to just shake him till Takeshi gained consciousness again. It was killing him to just simply wait. It wasn't fair.

He felt a light hand on his shoulder and he turned around to see Tsuna. The boy didn't need to say anything as Gokudera thrust his arms over him and began to cry again. How weak he was. He was the right hand man and here he was, crying on the Tenth's shoulder. Is this what it felt like to have a gap in his soul that couldn't be easily filled? Is this what Yamamoto had been telling him about that day..?

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_"Gokudera… Can I hear you play the piano please?"_

The Italian looked over his shoulder. "Now why would I do that?"

Yamamoto smirked from the couch he was laying on and removed the wet towel from his forehead. "Now come on love, would you deny a sick man music?"

"I don't like to play in front of people," Gokudera answered as he paid attention to his homework on the center coffee table.

"Oh please… For all you know I could die tomorrow." He caught himself when he saw the other tense up. "I'm sorry, that was wrong for me to say."

Gokudera suddenly stood up and walked over to the covered piano, pulling the sheet off of it. He sat down on the dusty chair and opened the cover to reveal the keys. He hovered his fingers over them for a moment before pressing them down to produce a tune. Not just any tune either. It had been one his mother taught him that was said to be only played to a lover or someone special to you.

Yamamoto blinked but closed his eyes to inhale the love that was being sent to him. After a minute or two, he stood up and sitting beside the silver hair, he wrapped on arm around the others waist. "It's like a missing part of me was suddenly fulfilled…" he commented.

Gokudera didn't pause. "How so?"

"Like that first verse seemed to confirm that what I have is real and if this was taken away, I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

"Like death..?"

Yamamoto gave him a side glance before saying, "Yeah… I guess like death."

"That would be horrid. Which is why I decided to play for you."

"And for that I am grateful," Takeshi smiled.

Gokudera grid his teeth. "Don't get too familiar with the habit. I'm not going to play every time you ask me you know."

"I know."

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It was half past midnight when the plane touched down. The hospital was only a fifteen minute drive away but that didn't seem fast enough to the lonely man in the backseat. He had Yamamoto's head in his lap but still the other had not awakened. Gokudera was running on low energy for the rest of the morning helping with the errands of the medical facility and coming back to stare at his lover a little longer.

Tsuna had suggested sleep but even he couldn't stand the thought of closing his eyes knowing that their family member was laying here. All anyone could do was wait. All Gokudera ever did was cry and list things of regret.

At twenty past three in the morning, Yamamoto's heart beat increased dramatically and his breathing quickened. Gokudera was there, gripping his hand tightly to see if he could channel his strength to the other in the desperate need to do something.

The doctors did nothing but babble on the boys condition but in conclusion it was said that Yamamoto was going through some kind of shock and that this was most likely a nightmare. More were definitely sure to come. That was to be understood.

That seemed odd to Gokudera. Yamamoto was capable of having nightmares? In all the times they had been together, never such a thing was witnessed nor was their any reason to. Why start now? What happened in the separation of a month? He wanted to know but again his patience was tested.

At five minutes till five in the morning did someone shake the Storm Guardian's shoulder. He looked up groggily at the doctor. "Yeah?" He tightened his grip on Yamamoto's unresponsive hand.

"He's awake."


End file.
